Bitterness is defined as anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly. It is an attitude of intense and prolonged anger and hostility which is synonymous with resentment and envy.
Bitterness is a spiritual sickness. It will consume you and is extremely dangerous to your emotional health. The Bible teaches us to, "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice" (Ephesians 4:31). Bitterness has the power to destroy us from within and can impact those around us negatively. Bitterness can harm us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It will not allow us to feel God's peace. The more we hold onto those hurts, the more we become intoxicated on the pain. It affects you physically, emotionally, and spiritually, because it is an evil fruit that will truly destroy you.
Bitterness takes root in a heart that refuses to forgive and allows it to wallow in self-pity. Bitterness is a root that is hidden under the surface, then suddenly grows until it shows its ugly head. This is the nature of bitterness. It grows quietly in a wounded heart and is usually undetected. It occurs when we feel that someone has taken something from us, that we are powerless to get back. We hold on to hurt and pain in an attempt to remind ourselves and others of the injustice we have experienced. Bitterness only makes our sense of injustice, grow. It does not heal the wound caused by the injustice. It causes the wound to become infected with anger and hate.
Bitterness starts out small. We start replaying that situation over and over again in our minds, creating deeper and deeper wounds. We will retell our painful situation to anyone that is available to listen, and will include every bit of sordid detail. This pushes the resentment into a deeper and more painful embedded wound. Even when we hear the person's name that wounded us, we cringe and the wound starts spreading even more. We look for any reason, whether real or imagined to dislike the person even more. Every time we hit the mental replay button, we form another layer of bitterness. Bitterness is like a colony of termites that will eat at you from within.
Some people think that they have the right to be bitter. Bitterness is a choice! God can help you with everything that you go through, and it all starts with forgiveness. Forgiveness is a commitment. Forgiveness is releasing your rights to what you think that you are due. Forgiveness is releasing your rights to any kind of retaliation. Forgiveness is releasing your rights to keep bringing it up. Forgiveness is releasing your rights to stop hitting that mental replay button. Just like bitterness is a choice, forgiveness is a choice.
Bitterness makes you walk in the flesh and not in the Spirit. You have the choice every day to whether you will walk in the flesh or in the Spirit. You know whether or not you are walking in the flesh or the Spirit, when you start thinking about someone and don't feel joy and peace. You know when you are walking in the Spirit when they are no longer on your hit list. Don't give anybody that kind of power over you. I have read that 90% of all people in an insane asylum could be released if they would just learn how to forgive or be forgiven. We can't control what happens in our life, but we can control how we respond and react to what happens to us.
Forgiveness does not mean that everything is okay nor does it means pretending that everything is okay. It is a gift that you give yourself, that will enable you to stop picking at that wound and allow God to heal you. Only God can help you heal. He can help you choose not to remember the hurt and pain. It is a choice that only you can make. But why remain bitter? It is costly to remain bitter, but it is more costly not to forgive. Forgiveness is hard, but it will set you free. "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matthew 6:14-15).
Forgive or not to forgive, only you can make that choice. It's your choice to make.