Unravel is defined as to solve, untangle or undo, or to become untangled. What is emotional unraveling? Emotional unraveling often involves a fierce emotion that overwhelms people. Simply put, it means to fall apart emotionally. Can a person really unravel? The psychological state of unraveling can happen to anyone, given the nature and degree of stress lying beyond someone's personal endurance.
There is only so much emotional stress a person can handle. You think that you are ravel, but ravel is the same as unravel, both words are synonyms and antonyms. Ravel means tangled or untangled. Just like a loose thread in a knitted cap or sweater, raveling could lead to more unraveling, where it looks like you can no longer tell up from down nor left from right. You become like a lost ship at sea and you are in the midst of a storm. You feel like a broken down car, totally immobile. You feel discombobulated. What a horrible feeling! Depending on your degree of stress, the unraveling can happen to anyone of us, on any given day, at any given moment. Only God knows how much you can endure, and any negative changes in our personal life can trigger unbelievable stress, from the loss of a loved one, financial problems, marital problems, mental and physical abuse, job loss, illness, etc. "The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him" (Nahum 1:7).
When I look in the rearview mirror of my memories, there was a point in my life that I felt like an unraveled ball of yarn. I was not at the point of full unravel, but I was right at that door. I could see the trail of string unwinding ever so slowly and becoming longer and longer. I was standing at the cliff of a mountain, the slightest wind could have pushed me over the edge. The yarn in my life had made a perfect knitted sweater of protection for me. But the yarn was unraveling from the sweater and so was my level of protection from it.
When I revisit those memories, I understand that I couldn’t go back in time to fix anything. I can only relive it and revisit it, and I feel that crippling pain that comes by the visitation of that experience. I was almost a train wreck ready to happen. I was wearing a figurative sign flashing the words of, "I am a Hot Mess and I am on a train whose name is The Hot Mess Express." All of my feelings flowed, starting from the engine, all the way back to the caboose. It's like being at a train station and you hear the words, "All Abroad," and that represents everything that means unravel. While on "The Hot Mess Express," all of my unraveling components of emotions had chained themselves to me emotionally, and filled every inch of me psychologically.
On "The Hot Mess Express," the baggage car was tagged, "troubled souls" only. The carriage of the train was labeled "Dysfunction Junction." Each compartment car was filled with depression and was shouting, "This lady is singing the blues." The dining car restaurant's lights was so dimmed that you could see the shadows of detached emotions. The buffet table was serving a bitter delicacy listing numerous kinds of emotional pains. The engine wasn't just pulling the train and it's cars, but it was also pulling a huge container, oozing with disconnection and detached feelings. The luggage racks were storing bags filled with disentangled thoughts. From the observation car, the only view available was clouds displaying worry and anxiety. The corridor of the train was lined with wallpaper containing high stress levels, which was extremely potent. The train was pulling a flatcar carrying loads of anguish and depression. In the quiet carriage, passengers were asked not to use their cell phones, but you would never believe what happened. Emotional exhaustion kept sending me texts on my cell phone, about my physical exhaustion. Imagine that! I was on the verge of a breakdown.
Slowly the threads of my life was unraveling. I didn't see it at first, but as the threads of my life slowly started to unravel, from hindsight, I was a "Hot Mess" traveling down the emotional distress train tracks on "The Hot Mess Express." Prayer, winded up the unraveled ball of yarn, and God reached down and grab me. "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Sprit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words" (Romans 8:26). Then GOD wrapped His long arms of protection around me and said, "Not on my watch." I thank God for rescuing me. I am also thankful that He reminds me that by His stripes we are healed. Faith unlocks any door to the power of God. What a revelation! This revelation unraveled me, in a good way. Only God could wind that ball of yarn up again. I can now unravel all the weights that were easily besetting me. God reminded me that, "He created my inmost being; He knitted me together in my mothers womb." What God create and knit together does not unravel. God's Word was my lifeline. My prayers to God was my lifeline. Although I couldn't see Him, I could hear and feel Him. God is near to us even in our darkest moments
If you have ever felt this way, you truly understand what this feels like. If you are feeling fragile, it is not okay. God reminds us, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30).
Stop minimizing and trivializing your pain. If you need help, please get help! Trust me, you are not alone. You are worth the effort to fight for yourself. God knitted you together and what He knits together shall not unravel.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:11-13).
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